Kissable
by Suzie's Q
Summary: There were several kisses that never happened.


I don't own this either!

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**Kissable  
**Summary: There were several kisses that never happened.  
Pairing: J/L  
Word Count: 1,495  
Rating: K+

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Lily had plenty of opportunities to kiss James Potter. He'd asked her out once, at the start of fifth year. Lily was sure there would have been at least one kiss on that date, if what she'd heard was anything to go by. But she said no, and she did not kiss James Potter.

He asked her out again at the end of fifth year, and Lily was so furious, kissing him didn't even enter her mind. All she saw was red. She wouldn't even call that saying no. She completely crushed the question, and refused to go. She was pretty sure, after that, that she would never kiss James Potter.

There was a moment in sixth year when Lily was sure she was about to kiss James Potter, and she didn't know what to do about it. They were out late - she had hid in the library so she could finish up without Madam Pince detecting her, and she didn't dare ask where he had been - and had encountered each other on their way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Sixth year had been an odd time for the pair of them. They'd been civil to each other, and had even made an effort on occasion. But little things were starting to change. Lily found herself laughing at James' jokes, or teasing James with a playful smile. She found that she cheered for him during Quidditch matches. She smiled at him when she entered a room. She stole his quills (he had lovely quills).

Lily always wrinkled her nose when someone suggested that they were friends. But that night, she had to admit it to herself. She liked his company. He seemed a lot more cheerful than Severus had been. She seemed to remember laughing more with James than she'd ever done with Severus.

The moment had happened so quickly, she wasn't even sure it had happened. They had just reached the portrait hole, and Lily was laughing at James' impression of Madam Pince so hard she couldn't stand up, clutching his arm for support. He was laughing too, but more bemusedly, trying to shush her.

"Lily - Filch will materialize in seconds if you don't shut up -" He lurched forward when she stumbled into the wall, arm securing around her waist. She leaned against the wall, trying to steady herself. He took his arm away. Her laughter died instantly, his hand ghosting over hers and sending a spark through her.

She blinked at him in surprise and he blinked back at her. His face seemed a few inches closer to hers than it was a few minutes ago, and Lily thought she was going to kiss him. She didn't.

Lily thought about it a lot for the next few weeks. She'd heard he was a good kisser. He looked like he would be. But in the end, she decided it was best that she hadn't kissed James Potter. And she never expected to be about to kiss him again.

She was wrong.

James' parents went away to Italy every summer, and James and Sirius had a party. Lily had a lot of Firewhiskey, and that wasn't all she'd drank. Her eyes spent a lot of the night following James around, though her feet stayed planted to the ground (er, sort of).

When he plopped down beside her, her first thought was that he had very kissable lips. This was undeniable fact. And perhaps she should have kissed them, all those months ago now…

And then he said something with those kissable lips, something that only swayed Lily to the idea more. "I really did like you, Lily," he mumbled. She wondered how much he'd been drinking. His words were slurring. His glasses were crooked.

She'd been more or less unabashedly staring at his lips, and she leaned in closer, smiling. "How much?"

Then he got awkward, in that way that only teenage boys do, and though Lily had found it a little irritating up to this point, now she found it endearing.

"I don't know," he grumbled, scratching the back of his neck. Her face wasn't far away from his by now. She didn't have much control over her balance. "You're just - you're special, is all, that's all I…. Hmm?"

This was more than thinking she was going to kiss James Potter. This was close to actually kissing him. This was what the girls in her dorm would describe as almost kissing James Potter. Her nose was nearly touching his. He got up to get another drink, and didn't come back.

They made it through the first few months of seventh year fairly quietly. Although privately, Lily would admit to herself that she'd spent an awful lot of time staring at his lips since that day at his party. Or thinking about them. It was just his lips, though. That didn't mean anything.

But seventh year didn't sail so smoothly forever. They were back after Christmas break, and within the space of a few weeks, there were several times where Lily thought she was going to kiss James Potter, and even more times when she almost kissed James Potter.

James Potter brushed her tears away when she was crying in the Head's office. His hand stayed on her cheek. She'd nearly kissed him. A knock on the door interrupted them.

James Potter - tall as he was - reached over her to get a book she couldn't reach, and when he'd pressed it into her hands, she'd considered flinging it out of the way so she could close the space between them, before realizing that a stunt like that probably belonged in a romance novel.

James Potter hugged her in a state of dazed euphoria when, at five the morning, they'd finally finished the bulk load of homework they had let pile up. His arms were still tight around her waist when she pulled her head back, her own arms still draped around his shoulders. His nose brushed hers, and nothing stopped them except a moment's hesitation.

James Potter spent a lot of time looking at her like he was about to kiss her - at least, that's how Lily perceived it. Maybe he was looking at her like she had something stuck between her teeth, or he was trying to find a way to make her stop talking.

James Potter always seemed be standing quite close to her, or sitting quite close to her. James Potter always leaned his head in to speak to her, so that Lily could feel his breath on her collarbone, so that his nose brushed off her cheek. James Potter would always catch her eye and her breath would hitch. Maybe James Potter actually liked wriggling his way into situations where they ended up barely inches away from a kiss.

And then James Potter did something terrible. He told her he loved her. So startled, Lily didn't say the same in return. So surprised, she did not kiss James Potter.

But she should have.

Five short weeks before the end of term. Lily could feel a tightness in her chest, something ticking like it was about to blow. She knew how much time she had - five weeks.

For the first two, she did nothing, except try to force herself not to think about James Potter, or about kissing James Potter, or about James Potter's wretchedly kissable lips.

Lily spent the next week coming to terms with the fact that trying not to think about James Potter was utterly useless. She also spent that week trying to figure out how she could tell him that she really did want to kiss him, that she really didn't have a problem with him loving her. That she thought about him an awful lot.

She needed one more chance to kiss James Potter. So after classes on a Wednesday evening, she caught up to him in the corridor and slipped her hand into his, asking him if he could go for a walk. He agreed.

They didn't go very far. They'd made it about two corridors when they slowed, and eventually stopped, blinking at each other as if it was the first time they'd ever seen each other. And she started to talk.

And James Potter kissed her. He seemed to dissolve into the kiss, as if this was the only kiss he would ever get, because finally, finally he was kissing Lily Evans, and she understood completely as she melted into it. He'd waited, and she'd waited, and it had been a very long time for both of them, and they should have been doing this the whole time. Lily should have kissed James Potter every single day since that first one, standing outside Gryffindor Tower sharing a private laugh. She might have missed out on every day since then, but one thing she was sure of, she wouldn't miss one more single kiss with James Potter.

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Thanks for reading!


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